Monday, March 28, 2016

All in God's timing

February 28, 2016


So this week has been a pretty busy week. Wow am I so blessed  though that sister winn is my companion. We just power through it all. We really get along and connect. I don't think I have ever spent more time praying down on my knees. So many things are just out of my control and all I can do is just pray and trust that He loves me and hears me, and most importantly (and most difficult) that He will do what is best for me in His timing. Ever since I have started praying out loud at the edge of my tub, I have felt so much more love and power in my life. I was studying the definition of prayer in the Bible dictionary and it speaks about how God is waiting to give us blessings that we just need to ask Him for. He loves us and our agency so much that He even needs us to ask Him for blessings. There has been such a power in my life as I have learned to view prayer as a conversation with my loving, understanding, and concerned Father in Heaven, rather than this formal statement of words with not much emotion behind it. 

So this week we had to have some emergency visits with our sisters (end of the transfer melt down is a real thing haha), which threw off our week a bit to be honest as far as the work in our area went. The people we were so blessed to meet last week couldn't meet with us for the most part this week. Which at first just made me feel so discouraged and down after feeling so much excitement, but I realize looking back it was all for a reason. I am praying so hard for them all, and I look forward to continuing our teaching with them this week. A part of me is still concerned about this, but I am deciding to lead with my faith and ask Christ for strength with all the rest. This coming week will be an act of faith. We have to do some extra exchanges with a a few companionships- which cool story: earlier on in the transfer we felt really impressed to stay ahead on our exchanges so that this last week of the transfer was more flexible. We had no idea why, but as we are here in the last week we now know why the spirit directed us in that way. It amazes me how loving Heavenly Father is and how much He is with me. So this week though we also need to focus on these people who just really really need Christ's gospel in their life. But- I know that as I do my best to follow the spirit and be obedient that God will provide for us.

P.S sister allen goes home this next week and I am so so sad about it! She and I have become so close. It is so sad to see her go. Where is all the time going!?

So this week has been troubling somewhat as well because in our area we have contacted into a lot of very anti-mormon people. There is a ton of churches in Ripon with a lot of really amazing people with strong beliefs which is awesome, but apparently one of them is giving out note cards with arguments against our religion so that people can come find us and basically chew us out. I have never experienced this in my life before. I mean, there is a lot of people who believe things differently than me that I know and it is great they have their own path that gives them peace for then in their lives, but I have never had it so up in face. In those moments I have felt just dark inside, and it hurts that I do not even have the opportunity to bear my own testimony in some cases. It is very hard when something so precious, and dear to me- that has changed my life for the better and gave me peace- is so torn apart and misunderstood. All I can is try and say my testimony and head another way. It has been hard, but I feel my Savior even closer in those moments. It has been a learning and growing experience for me.

Something that I have studied this week is Moses 6, the story of Enoch. He is just this kid who is weak and hated, but through Christ he is made strong and does miracles. Moses 6:34 is my favorite verse from the chapter I am focusing on this week. I feel weak at times, but when I do I remember something Steven my brother actually shared with me about this story. That when I doubt myself, I am really doubting Christ's ability to work through me. I am really going to think about that this week. I know that Christ suffered for my own personal weaknesses and mistakes and He overcame them because He loves me. Because He overcame them, I too can overcome them as I seek Him in all that I do. I feel so much peace and happiness as I am serving as a missionary. Hard times come, but I just still feel peace. It makes me so happy to be here serving. I miss you and love you all. You are in my prayers.

all my love,
Sister Neeley

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